doing my best… I think… ? | the open, week 4


Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165

So, you’ve all seen those obnoxious Crossfit memes floating around the interwebs through the years. You know the ones: “Oh, so you Crossfit? Well I’m not trying to be the best at exercising”.

Uh, actually, I am, thank you very much.

I came across a meme via a fellow box member a few weeks ago and it was such an accurate peek (in a silly way), into a Crossfitter’s head.

Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165

I immediately responded with, “#5 for me, all the way!”

I did it again today. I am awful at doing Step 5 to myself.

Lets rewind a smidge, shall we.

This week, the majority of us planned to do 16.4 on Saturday. AKA the weekend. AKA my usual rest day. AKAKAKAKA with a crowd of eyes on us. No problem, I decided to send a message by way of tank top because as it stands, I also hate speaking. :P

Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165

  • On having a crowd there: It was kind of nice! It definitely wasn’t as awful as it was when it played out inside my head. In fact, I really couldn’t even tell who was watching me at any given moment. I just heard a nice amount of “Go Gina’s!”, “Go G” (that would be my Mom) and “Go Mommy!” from the kids. That was fun. :)

Once I saw what the scaled 16.4 WOD was, I got kind of pumped. I mean, I am not at all saying I am great at these moves. Decent though. I am decent at them. ha! That’s really what I expect of myself still at this stage of the game. So like any decent athlete does, I called and invited my parents to come watch because hello, I hate people watching me but I kind of wanted a few people watching me.

I make no sense. I know this.

Here’s the scaled 16.4 workout by the way:

Complete as many rounds and reps as possible in 13 minutes of:

55 deadlifts
55 wall-ball shots
55-calorie row
55 hand release push-ups

Men deadlift 135 lb. and throw 20-lb. ball to 9-ft. target
Women deadlift 95 lb. and throw 10-lb. ball to 9-ft. target

My husband, from the firehouse this morning, texted me:


I like how he’s giving me calming techniques but not at all denying my claim regarding mental instability.

The plan was to meet my Mom and Dad there. I had the 3 kids with me. I am driving my 5 minute drive to the box and there are 3 different iPads’ musical tones and game sounds and general sibling chit chat coming from the backseat. The whole drive I am thinking “Why are they not asking me if I am nervous? Clearly they have no idea I want to vomit right now and/or drive this car into a tree”.

I walk in, see my friends. We are all planning to go in the same heat. I have about 15 minutes or so to get my sh!t together. I can do this. Then I look at the group just finishing and it kinda sorta seems like a few of them are hovering near death.


Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165

The next heat goes, and in there is a fellow scaled chick who kills every workout. Like, kills them. I hate her. JK! She’s awesome! :) But I never go by her whiteboard scores as a guidelines for myself because she completely smokes her workouts. I usually tack on a good 2-3 minutes if something is logged in for time and I am trying to gauge how quickly I should get this WOD done. Anyhow… she goes. And after, she too, is laying on the floor, looking green.

Ok *now* I’m getting nervous! I was excited about my deadlifts (the row, not so much…) but seeing as how the entire WOD as a whole is taxing everybody right when the 13:00 strikes on the clock, I am kind of like. “Oh, crap”.

I load up my bar until I hit 95 pounds, I set up my ball, make sure the foot pedals are set nicely for my gargantuan feet on the rower. I strap my belt on. I have to start. I am in this heat. I don’t necessarily want to start, because to be honest, I rarely want to start. lol But you know you have to, so you just get ready and know your body will grab the bar for the first pull no matter what. My judge is Jessica, a stellar athlete and when I realize she is in fact *my* judge, I just say “Don’t yell at me”.  ha!! I think I just have a fear of doing sh!t wrong and getting in trouble.  (Post 16.4 speaking, I can say she was great. Very calm and she passed on good tips to me throughout the different movements. Thank you!)

If you complete one full set of all of the movements, you will have completed 220 reps. Then you start with the deadlifts again until you hit the 13:00 time cap.

I completed 215 reps.

I don’t know if I am happy or pissed off at this.

Here’s the thing about working out. When I am doing the workout, I know I am pushing myself. I honestly can say that I have really never felt I held back on something. Maybe here and there I am having an off day and I keep the weights a little light. But I really try not to phone-in the movements (and lets be honest, that would be really hard to do anyway, ‘lest barbells start falling on your head and you start taking medballs to the face). The workout ends, I am sweating, I am breathing heavy, I know I gave it my all.

And then an hour passes and I think “Damnit Carl!” JK (but it’s a Friends reference in case you are lame and don’t realize that). I think “Damnit Gina. You SHOULD HAVE DONE THOSE 5 EXTRA REPS! But I couldn’t have. I don’t think I could have….? I don’t know.

This was the only Open workout I finished where I thought, “Maybe I’ll re-do it and get those 5 reps in”. But you know what? No. Just no. lol I seriously do not want to pull 55 calories on the rower again. There’s no guarantee I will do better. I may very well get the same exact score. And at the end of the day, I am working out. These are workouts. They are awesome and fun for me but if I am being honest, I am exercising. And this totally does not apply to RX athletes who are killing it and looking to advance. Kill it my friends. Re-do if you need and get the best score you can.  I think, for The 2016 Open anyway, I am just going to be happy with all of my first attempts. This is my first time doing something like this and I am happy I even signed up and had the will to do something in a competition setting. I am doing the best I can. I know I am. 95% of the time I know that anyway.

Here’s a funny story about missing a rep and regretting it after.

Earlier this week, we had a WOD that honestly, was the toughest one I’ve done in a while. I’ll tell you what it was, but it looks very innocent on paper. Don’t be fooled. This thing sucked.

7 rounds. 7 front squats. 7 push press. 7 burpees every time the bar was put down. That includes between rounds. After the first round (so, 14 movements total), I had to put the bar down after every 7. If my calculations were correct, I did 91 burpees, 49 front squats and 49 1/2 push presses because I dropped the friggin’ bar on THE LAST ONE!

Did I want to hold onto the bar and get it over my head? You bet. Could I have held it and done it? No. In that moment, absolutely no.  My shoulders gave out. My arms. were. burning. Did I second guess dropping it hours later when I thought back and said to myself “You really could have done the last rep!” Of course. I felt like maybe I wasn’t in as much pain and I thought I was. But let me tell you, the pain is quite real during the wod. Another fine example of being 95% sure I gave it my all at the time, and 5% nagging doubt lingering for the remainder of the day.

WOD Grief Step 5, all. day. long.

Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165wb

  •  I was feeling a little dark and gritty (most likely after wanting to open a vein after my own row today), hence the darker, grittier Photoshop liberties I took with these. My 12 year old took all of the photos of me! (except the wall ball shot as noted above.) I am sharing a few sick Coach pics that I took as well (and one of their brother because I’m digging the outfit).  Enjoy.

Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165

Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165

Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165

Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165

Gina Rae Miller Photography Crossfit 165





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